Life Set Apart

Have you ever attended a wedding with your kids?

The 4:00pm ceremony time. AKA in motherhood as witching hour.

The 5:00pm cocktail hour. AKA in motherhood as “I want dinner now” time and all you can give them is a tiny piece of bread with an overly fancy spread on top & whatever kid-friendly beverage they have at the bar.

The 7:00pm dinner time. AKA in motherhood as bed time shenanigans. Chasing your toddler to put on pajamas as they hop off in the other direction laughing at everything because they are so tired and delirious…. All while your baby wines or cries because they want to snuggle and nurse for the next hour until they are completely and totally asleep… just to nurse again an hour later…

The 8:00pm first dance. With kids at the wedding they really should have just called this a pajama party and not a wedding.

And for me, the Mom in the scenario, this was my first outing past 7pm in months. I usually try to be home for these sometimes dreadful hours of the day just to not bother society with all that ensues.

But here I am. At a wedding with two little ones. A toddler that can’t whisper and only has one volume as the bride walks down the isle, suddenly more interested in asking questions than the pile of snacks his DeeDee & Mom filled their tiny, special event purses with. A 5 month old that decides to enter witching our, scream before latching on to nurse, all minutes before the bride walks down the isle, leaving Mom to stand at the back of the church, being the first one to greet the beautiful bride as she enters those back doors before her walk to her beloved.

After the ceremony, we were invited to join in on family photos. Hoping and praying this will be quick, we wiped our toddlers sticky face from all the snacks, tried to hold the baby off from nursing a second time in the last hour the best we could, and add to the chaos, the rain… the puddles… a toddlers favorite exploration zone. I look over to see my toddler tapping his brown leather dress shoes in a puddle over and over again… suddenly it dawns on me that he has to use the only restroom in the middle-of-the-woods ceremony space we have available, and it’s occupied. “Uncle Mark! Hurry up! Your nephew has to use the potty NOW!” Thankfully he flew out of there, probably having flashbacks to the 3 kids and several daycare kids within his home over the years. But I assure you, photos were taken. I have yet to see any of them…

Other moments were a blur. Probably due to the lack of coffee I consumed before leaving our Airbnb or the head spinning number of diaper changes, eye rolls, and hungry Mama belly that is used to consuming snacks all day with her toddler & that early family dinner we have each night.

But I do remember this. A shift. A focus into reality. A break in the frustration. A surrender of control. A thankfulness to our God for the gift of this beautiful family. Gratitude to actually be away from the house, a mini-vacation feeling I received that weekend. I settled in. I embraced it. The mess. The poor timing for young families. I sent my husband to the car to grab our post-wedding clothes for the car ride home with much time still to spare in the reception. I took off the first fancy dress I had worn in months. I placed my toddler in Toy Story PJs (mostly as a bribe). I put on socks, yoga pants, and a black shirt (which felt like my working years again being in all black attire at a wedding, something I deeply/weirdly missed). My baby went in his pjs. I wrapped him up in his carrier to baby-wear him. And my husband, well, I guess I was suddenly, for the first time ever, too informal for him and he stayed dressed up. We had switched. I had let go. I embraced the season we were in.

Walking back into the family-only reception, without shoes on (I didn’t think my heels would go well with the socks & yoga pants). I took my baby to the dance floor. We danced to Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra, and some random cruise-bumpin music. My family watched my toddler by the fire pits (maybe I should have been more aware of his playfulness near fire… but this is a thought that only comes to mind now). I was present. My husband walked up to me and danced with us. It was probably the first time I was approachable all day, because who wants to snuggle up to a stressed out Mama whose babies are in the wild (oh, I meant to say wedding… or did I?). My baby fell asleep on my chest. I pictured dancing with them on their wedding day before they are handed off to dance the rest of their lives with their beautiful wives. It was pure bliss. I realized these 18 years I get with them are bliss. The joy overflowed. The gratitude for the chaos of this season. The peace that overwhelmed me. The thankfulness for my little family. I was right where I was supposed to be. At a wedding. A wedding with kids.

Embrace it. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the off-schedule days. Embrace the over-tired giggle-fests. Embrace the PJs at a wedding (but please know the audience). Embrace the music. Embrace your baby. Embrace your husband as he approaches you for the first time all day. Embrace your toddler if you can catch him mid-run around a fire pit. Embrace motherhood. God calls us to embrace the season we are in. Embrace God as he embraces us. You will enjoy life more. You will overflow with gratitude. Whatever it is… Finally let go & embrace it.

Ecclesiastes 3

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

  …
   a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
  a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,”

And I will leave you with this. The only series of family photos we took that day. Only my husband is dressed up. Paci is falling out. Send-off party sticks are now “wack Dad in the face sticks”. I guess I chose to keep on my pearls with my sweats to try and hide the fact that I’m in loungewear… It’s chaos. God has given me this season with my family. And it’s my favorite.

Lord, help me to embrace my family like this every day. Amen.